Overcoming Despair, and Holiday Blues

Depression is different than feelings of despair in that it may last longer and/or is more intense than despair. However, treating despair and treating depression have some similarities.

Despair often results from a faulty interpretation of an experience. For instance when something goes wrong you tell yourself that the situation is hopeless or that the situation is beyond repair. The fastest way out of despair is to redefine the situation. Instead of allowing your negative thoughts to dictate your feelings, train yourself to define the situation in a way that does not include exaggerated language. You might say to yourself "OK, this is bad, but it's not the end of the world."

Despair, no matter how intense, will not last forever. All feelings have a way of fading with time. Think back to another time when you felt like the world would end and realize that, in fact, it didn't. It may be difficult, but you will get through this too.

If you have feelings of despair following this advice may be just the medicine you need to get you back on track.

Smile: It sounds silly, but studies have shown that even a fake smile produces "feel good" chemicals (endorphins) in your brain. Go find a mirror and force yourself to smile for at least five minutes. If you’re not laughing by then, go outside and smile at strangers. It may sound strange, but it works. Do it.

Exercise: A good swift walk around the block or 15 minutes of aerobics will stimulate your brains’ "feel good" chemicals alleviating your negative mood. Work in the garden, vigorously clean the house or just go for a 20 minute walk every day, the difference will surprise you.

Keep a journal: Recent research has shown that writing about your despair doesn’t alleviate it. However, making daily lists of those things for which you are grateful can make a dramatic difference in your mood. Every day write down three things that you are grateful for, then write down one thing that you like about yourself.

Do a good deed: It sounds simple but it is a very important part of dealing with despair and depression. Studies confirm that when you step outside of yourself, and spend time helping others, you begin to leave your own issues behind; negativity is soon replaced with happiness and self pity is replaced with the uplifting feelings that come with helping others. Start small, bring cookies to a friend or take your teenager to lunch.

Caffeine can cause despair to worsen. Reduce or delete caffeine from your diet. And last but not least, make room in your day for 20 minutes of sunshine. It sounds simple but decades of research have proven that doing these two things will make a marked difference in your ability to cope with despair.

You are ultimately in control of your emotions and your life. The choices you make today will determine your tomorrow.

Symptoms of Mental Illness in Teens

Many mental illness' begin to emerge late in the teen years. Too often parents and teachers miss the symptoms and explain them away as typical teenage eccentricities. Because early detection is essential to preventing your teen from spiraling out of control I am listing signs and symptoms that you need to be aware of which may indicate an evolving mental illness.


* overly angry much of the time,
* cries a lot or overreacts to things; ·
* feels worthless or guilty;
* is anxious or worried more than other young people;
* experiences grief for several months after a loss or death;
* has unexplained fears or more fears than most kids;
* overly concerned about physical problems or appearance;
* feels uncomfortable in his/her own skin;
* suddenly begins to change clothes many times a day;
* believes that others are out to get him/her:
* begins behaving eccentrically;
* frightened that his or her mind is controlled or is out of control.

Experiences unexplained changes in life functioning:

* declining grades;
* extreme feelings of grandiosity;
* extreme mood changes
* inappropriate expression of emotions (i.e. laughing when sad)
* loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities;
* changes in sleeping or eating habits;
* avoids friends or family;
* difficulty getting things done;
* feels life is too hard or talks of suicide or death;
* hears voices that cannot be explained.

Is limited by:

* poor concentration; difficulty making decisions;
* inability to be still or focus attention;
* worries about being harmed, hurting others, or about doing something "bad";
* the need to wash, clean things, or perform certain routines many times a day or in a particular way;
* racing thoughts;
* persistent nightmares.

Behaves in ways that could cause harm:

* uses alcohol or other drugs;
* sexually inappropriate behavior toward self or others;
* eats large amounts of food and then forces vomiting, abuses laxatives, or takes enemas to avoid weight-'gain;
* continues to diet or exercise obsessively although bone-thin;.
* hurts other people, destroys property, or breaks the law;
* does things that can be life threatening - erratic driving, cutting, defies authority.