Symptoms of Mental Illness in Teens

Many mental illness' begin to emerge late in the teen years. Too often parents and teachers miss the symptoms and explain them away as typical teenage eccentricities. Because early detection is essential to preventing your teen from spiraling out of control I am listing signs and symptoms that you need to be aware of which may indicate an evolving mental illness.


* overly angry much of the time,
* cries a lot or overreacts to things; ·
* feels worthless or guilty;
* is anxious or worried more than other young people;
* experiences grief for several months after a loss or death;
* has unexplained fears or more fears than most kids;
* overly concerned about physical problems or appearance;
* feels uncomfortable in his/her own skin;
* suddenly begins to change clothes many times a day;
* believes that others are out to get him/her:
* begins behaving eccentrically;
* frightened that his or her mind is controlled or is out of control.

Experiences unexplained changes in life functioning:

* declining grades;
* extreme feelings of grandiosity;
* extreme mood changes
* inappropriate expression of emotions (i.e. laughing when sad)
* loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities;
* changes in sleeping or eating habits;
* avoids friends or family;
* difficulty getting things done;
* feels life is too hard or talks of suicide or death;
* hears voices that cannot be explained.

Is limited by:

* poor concentration; difficulty making decisions;
* inability to be still or focus attention;
* worries about being harmed, hurting others, or about doing something "bad";
* the need to wash, clean things, or perform certain routines many times a day or in a particular way;
* racing thoughts;
* persistent nightmares.

Behaves in ways that could cause harm:

* uses alcohol or other drugs;
* sexually inappropriate behavior toward self or others;
* eats large amounts of food and then forces vomiting, abuses laxatives, or takes enemas to avoid weight-'gain;
* continues to diet or exercise obsessively although bone-thin;.
* hurts other people, destroys property, or breaks the law;
* does things that can be life threatening - erratic driving, cutting, defies authority.

Paris Hilton, Britney, Teen Idols? Please!

Paris Hilton, born into wealth - Britney Spears, forced into pop culture before she was ready to deal with it's pitfalls - Sports idols, thrust into a world of money and fame, doing drugs, torturing dogs, and disrespecting women. These are often the very people our teens look up to and aspire to emulate.

What is a parent to do? To some degree you have to expect that your child will look outside of the home to find people living a life that they admire and desire. As a teenager the walls of my bedroom were covered with pictures of Davey Jones, Paul McCartney and other popular entertainers. It was a normal phase of development that didn't damage me.

However, today's world is filled with teen idols that have less than exemplary and very public lives. Everyday I see teenage girls who spend exorbitant amounts of their parent's money trying to create an image that equals their wealthy and maladjusted idols. It is becoming common for these girls to feel entitled to their parent's money, money from lenders that they don't intend to pay back and from society in general. Although, as a parent you may not feel empowered to do anything about it, the fact is that you can take control of your own child and stop the behavior.

Teaching your child the necessity to work for their pay is the best way of helping them grow into a monetarily responsible adult who appreciates what they have earned. This can begin as soon as your child is old enough to start asking for candy at the grocery store. But if your teenager has skipped this level of development, it is not too late to stop feeding their demise with money.

Talk with your teen and let them know that you have made a tragic error in judgment regarding how liberal you have been with them. Let them know that you are making a change and that you will no longer give in to their crying, whining or threatening behaviors. You, as the parent, MUST realize that it is your job to teach your child how to fend for themselves. It is far more critical to your child's wellbeing that you be assertive and consistent instead of worrying about being your child's best friend.

Mentally Ill Teens & You

According to the Health Behavior News Service "New research suggests that Americans are more likely to socially reject children and teens with mental illness than they are those with physical illnesses such as asthma."

Without naming the mental illness' the poll asked people if they would want a kid with certain symptoms to live next door to them; or if they would want their child going over to the ill kid's house for the evening.

The results were hardly surprising. Only parents with kids of their own who were suffering with mental illness' such as ADHD or Depression had any empathy for other kids with mental health issues.

Realistically taking a poll can't give us an accurate view of how people react to troubled kids. Of course in a perfect world all of our neighbors would be perfect, regardless of how "crazy" we might be. But in the real world, nearly everyone has a neighbor or two who is suffering with mental illness, and the only ones who are negatively effected is the person who is ill and their closest family and friends.

Truth is, most of the "trouble" caused by kids is caused by those who are not mentally ill. Most juvenile delinquency in America is caused by kids who were parentally neglected, emotionally and psychologically scarred by their life's difficulties and those who have been seriously misguided or abused.

Before we throw our teenage neighbors under the bus, let's first educate ourselves about mental illness and learn how we can have empathy for those who are effected by it. Even better, find a way to help your mentally ill neighbors by befriending and helping them. Love and friendship is ultimately the best medicine for the lonely and forlorn.

Troubled Teens and How to Make Life Easier

It is difficult for parents to keep up with all of the changes our children are going through. By the time they reach puberty, teens are going through a vast array of changes at an accelerated rate. If parents are to be effective, they must attempt to keep up with the changes in several ways.

1. Be aware of the need to readjust old rules, to better fit maturing teens. Young teens are acutely aware of the inadequacies in their parent's rules. When your teen reaches puberty, it is a good time to sit down with them and discuss the changes they are going through. Together you can decide what their new rules (and the consequences to breaking those rules) should be. Enlisting the teen in making these decisions will ultimately lead to better cooperation by them in adhering to the rules and standards of the parent. Kids need to know exactly what the consequence for breaking the rule will be. This way when they choose to break a rule, they know that they also choose the consequence. This makes it much easier for the parent to enforce the consequence without argument. It is also extremely important that the parent enforce those consequences 100% of the time. If there is inconsistency, the rules become meaningless.

2. Reassess your expectations of the teen; old ones and new ones. Old expectations may be impractical and/or demeaning for the teen, while new expectations placed on growing teens may exceed their developmental level, and may result in frustration to both parent and teens. It may be too much to expect a 13 year old to be responsible for their younger siblings, the housework and homework everyday while the parent is at work. On the other hand, expecting that the young teens only responsibility around the house is to keep his/her room clean may not be realistic either. When the expectations are equal to the teens ability to achieve, the stage is set for developing self confidence and for taking pride in responsibility.

3. Begin allowing your teen to experience life according to his/her own dictates. This doesn't mean that you need to let them run around without boundaries or rules. It means that you begin to enable the teen to make decisions for themselves at a rate that is equal to his/her level of development. If we have taught our children how to govern themselves when they are small, they will be able to govern themselves as they grow to adulthood. That doesn't mean they will always choose to do things the way YOU hope they will. It does mean that they will be able to develop self confidence in their ability to choose their own path in life. For instance, upon entering high school I wanted my oldest son to take a typing class. I knew the class was no longer mandatory but I felt it was a very important skill for him to have. He did not want to take the class at all. After perusing his choices he decided to take a keyboarding class instead. He is now a computer engineer and typewriters are obsolete.

4. Sometimes teens will choose contrary to what we want them to do. Unless this involves something illegal, or something harmful to themselves or others, we need to allow them to make, and learn from, their own mistakes. Learning from mistakes provides opportunities they must have if they are to develop confidence in their ability to make right choices. If we set out to protect them from every mistake, we prevent them from learning how to depend on themselves. Each time they choose a path that ends in disaster, they have the opportunity to learn from their mistake, to learn how NOT to do things the next time. Perhaps they will even learn that you were right after all. Although they may not admit it until they are 30 or so.

5. Allow the child to separate from you, and begin to individuate. It is difficult for parents to accept that their child is no longer as affectionate or attentive as they once were. This separation is normal, and should be a respected phase in the teens development. Be there for them. Don't condemn them for pulling away. And let them know that you respect their need for privacy. When they were little, they needed us for everything. We diapered them, fed them and nurtured them when they were sad. Now they are on their way to independent living as adults and we need to help them on that journey. Every time a parent seeks to get emotional comfort from a child, the parent is hindering the separation process and preventing the child from continuing on his/her journey towards a healthy adulthood. So give them a pat on the back instead of a bear hug once in a while.

6. Teens need boundaries, especially young teens. This time of their life is emotionally, physically and environmentally unstable. Although they may tell us to "Back Off" and suspend the rules, they are actually in a state of mind that craves consistent and rational rules. They need to have something in their life that feels secure, that they can depend on while they go through the ups and downs of adolescence. After the two of you have decided on a set of boundaries and expectations, the parent's role is to be firm (but not roboticly stiff) with them. The child needs to be assured that the parent will keep the boundaries in tact, but is also willing to consider "special circumstances" for an occasional exception. These exceptions need to be discussed and decided upon together so that the teen realizes that it is not an impulsive reaction of the parent. The parent needs to be seen as someone who is firm with the rules but not unwilling to bend. However, consequences need to be firm and delivered without exception.

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