Mentally Ill Teens & You

According to the Health Behavior News Service "New research suggests that Americans are more likely to socially reject children and teens with mental illness than they are those with physical illnesses such as asthma."

Without naming the mental illness' the poll asked people if they would want a kid with certain symptoms to live next door to them; or if they would want their child going over to the ill kid's house for the evening.

The results were hardly surprising. Only parents with kids of their own who were suffering with mental illness' such as ADHD or Depression had any empathy for other kids with mental health issues.

Realistically taking a poll can't give us an accurate view of how people react to troubled kids. Of course in a perfect world all of our neighbors would be perfect, regardless of how "crazy" we might be. But in the real world, nearly everyone has a neighbor or two who is suffering with mental illness, and the only ones who are negatively effected is the person who is ill and their closest family and friends.

Truth is, most of the "trouble" caused by kids is caused by those who are not mentally ill. Most juvenile delinquency in America is caused by kids who were parentally neglected, emotionally and psychologically scarred by their life's difficulties and those who have been seriously misguided or abused.

Before we throw our teenage neighbors under the bus, let's first educate ourselves about mental illness and learn how we can have empathy for those who are effected by it. Even better, find a way to help your mentally ill neighbors by befriending and helping them. Love and friendship is ultimately the best medicine for the lonely and forlorn.

The Evolution of Adolescence

I once had a professor in graduate school that told us that “adolescence is a mental illness, and the only cure is time.” At the time I had a house full of teenagers and I tended to agree with her.

So what is it about being a teen that causes them to be so at odds with the rest of the world? What exactly is adolescence and how can a parent survive until they are in their twenties? That is the focus of this site. Each article will deal with some aspect adolescence and pre-adolescence. My aim is to help parent’s parent their teen effectively, with minimal anxiety; and to offer teens information and hope for getting through all the rough spots that make this time of life so difficult.

So let’s start at the beginning. Adolescence is a modern idea. It is a level of development that was conceived and brought into existence in the late 1800’s. Until that period in history childhood ended when s/he was capable of providing an income (for boys) or procreation (for girls). Essentially when childhood ended adult responsibility took its place, and this may have happened as early as 11 years of age for boys and 13-14 for girls.

Even in the early 20^th century girls in rural areas were often expected to marry as early as 13 and little boys left home to find work. Until this time the idea of living at home, unemployed, and expecting parents to provide for them until they were in their twenties was virtually unheard of, and would have been considered outrageous. And up until the late 20^th century children who had jobs were expected to turn over their earnings to their parent’s to help pay for their keep and to benefit the family. Flipping burgers to pay for a new car or fancier clothes wasn’t even a choice.

So what changed?

The industrial revolution, followed by the age of technology has changed the world forever. And one of the most significant changes is the introduction of the modern teenager. Part of the reason we seem to have little understanding of what makes teens tick is due to the fact that we haven’t had much time to study them. But one thing families and psychologists have discovered is that the role of the modern teen is vastly different than ever before. They are expected to mature emotionally before taking on adult responsibilities, and yet they have jobs, they become sexually active and they “feel” as if they are as mature as their out-dated parents.

Modern civilization has created an 8-10 year stage of life in which the people are sexually and physically mature, but are still being cared for and treated like children. They are clearly not little children, and yet they are also not yet adults. Is it any wonder then that their world is filled with angst and confusion? One day they need a hug and the next they don’t want anything to do with you.

The good news is that it is possible for both you and your teen to come through to the other side happy, healthy and unscathed. And I can help you do just that. Check back often to receive the help and support you are looking for.

If you have specific questions, or topics that you would like me to write about please leave a comment and I will take all suggestions into consideration.

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