Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Is Sex Between Step-Siblings Wrong?

I was asked an interesting question the other day:

"Is it considered incest if adult step-siblings have sex?"

Before answering I had to first set aside my personal moral stance and think through the question. I personally know two couples who are adult step-siblings and are also married to each other. So, obviously the legal answer to the question is no, it isn't considered incest in the eyes of the law.

In the two cases that I mentioned above, all 4 step-siblings met as adults when their parents began dating each other. They didn't grow up together and they never had a sibling-type relationship.

In the case of younger, underage kids I think the moral dilemma is evident. In my opinion, if the kids were in a family setting and were treated like siblings then having an intimate relationship, even as adults, should be out of the question. The judgment call cannot be made on blood-ties alone. Otherwise adopted siblings and foster siblings could be considered potential sexual partners.

What is your opinion?

1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

My GF and I have been dating for the better part of a year. We recently moved in together. I care about her dearly and have a wonderful relationship but there is an elephant in the room. She told me when we first started seeing each other about a one night relationship with her mother's finance's youngest son. I held in my judgment and immediate reaction, which was one of shock and disgust. The entire thing passed into obscurity as we got to know each other further and began dating. About three months in to our relationship, she went home to visit her friends and family. I planned to meet her half way through her trip. I expressed anxiety as the idea returned to me about her step-brother and her. She was planning for us to stay at his place while he was stay at a second apartment he rented. Before arriving, I asked to please not be put in the situation and stay there. When I arrived, the plans had not changed and we stayed in his apartment. On the trip, I met him along with some of her other friends who kindly regarded to her step-brother as her brother (there is a language difference as we are from two different countries). I was a wreck and did my best to calm myself with cigarettes and beer. At the end of the evening, i broke down emotionally and explained how difficult a time I was having with this. We talked about it over and over but nothing could be done. We agreed not to talk about him anymore but he still comes up from time to time. They are however family now and attend all the holidays and family events. I can't help but notice pictures and comments on facebook or texting between one another on skype. Anytime she talks about going home or her family, i think of her step-brother. I find myself reminded of it daily now that we have moved in together and sometimes I lose my sexual drive, completely. I do not know what to do about it or how to deal with my emotional response to what I know. I am upset that she told me and wished it would have remained a personal issue and private. The night between them happen years ago and they both seemed to have dealt with it after much shame and guilt but now I feel it's become my problem to deal with and accept. any advice or words of confidence?