Is Your Teen Addicted to Gaming?

It's bad enough that you rarely see your teen but when he is home he spends his time staring at the computer playing interactive games. What should a parent do? Do you limit his time on the computer or ban interactive games altogether? How do you know when a simple game is becoming a problem?

Teens need alone time. Their life is changing at a rapid and stressful rate and they absolutely need down time do do nothing at all. But the amount of downtime they need is minimal - perhaps an hour a day depending on the teen. Gaming may be your teens way of getting down time.

If gaming is becoming a habitual way to avoid interacting with others or if it is beginning to prevent your teen from taking care of other responsibilities then perhaps it is time to talk to him about the role gaming is playing in his life.

Remember to ask him how gaming makes him feel and to listen rather than lecture or dictate new rules. The latter will invoke defensiveness and your teen will turn a deaf ear. But if you discover what your teen is turning his back on via gaming, it is possible to develop a dialogue about some of life's demands that are causing him to feel overwhelmed. Take this opportunity to learn about your teen and to see the gaming as a symptom rather than an enemy.

Overcoming Despair, and Holiday Blues

Depression is different than feelings of despair in that it may last longer and/or is more intense than despair. However, treating despair and treating depression have some similarities. This section is a listing of helpful hints in dealing with and/or treating feelings of despair.

Despair often results from a faulty interpretation of an experience. For instance when something goes wrong - really wrong, you tell yourself that the situation is hopeless, that you screwed up, that the situation is beyond repair or that no one will forgive you. The fastest way out of despair is to redefine the situation. Instead of allowing your negative thoughts to dictate your feelings, allow yourself to define the situation in a common sense way that does not include berating yourself. You might look at the situation and say to yourself "OK, this is bad, but it's not the end of the world."

Remember that no matter how bad you feel, the feeling won't last forever! All feelings have a way of fading with time. No matter how angry others are at you, they won't be mad forever.

Think back to another time when you felt like the world would end and realize that - it didn't!

If you are feeling bad, there are a few things that you can do to alleviate your pain. Some of these suggestions are only quick-fixes - a temporary lift to help you feel good enough to seek professional help. In less traumatic cases following this advice may be just the medicine you need to get you back on track emotionally.

1. Smile. It sounds silly, but studies have shown that even a fake smile produces "feel good" chemicals (endorphins) in your brain. Go find a mirror and force yourself to smile for at least five minutes. If your not laughing by then, go outside and smile at strangers. Sound Strange? (You're probably smiling at the thought of it, right now!) It may be strange, but it works, I guarantee it!
2. Exercise. A good swift walk around the block or 15 minutes of aerobics will stimulate your brains "feel good" chemicals. If you get into the habit of doing a little daily exercise, you can reduce your recurring feelings of despair by a drastic degree. If aerobics isn't your thing, just go for a 20 minute walk every day.
3. Keep a journal. In your journal write about whatever is bothering you. Write your feelings in all their blackness. Write about what part of the situation you did have, or could have had, some choice, some control over part of it. Then before you're through, for each entry, end the list with at least one thing you like about yourself. Then write one thing you would like to do to help someone else, (open a door for an older person at the mall etc.)
4. Do a good deed. This is another of those weird suggestions that sounds unrealistic. However, over and over, people have experienced and studies confirm, that when you get out of your egocentric world of "woe-is-me," and spend time helping others, you tend to forget about your problems, and your dreary feelings disappear. It's like nature's magical remedy. Try it- it works!
5. Talk to someone. Find someone you can trust. I don't mean your best friend who has, in the past, "leaked" something you have told them in confidence. I mean someone you KNOW will not tell anyone and who will not judge you or try to tell you HOW to feel. Someone who will just let you get it out of your system without trying to "fix it." If you're so inclined, cry while you talk. Studies have shown that depression chemicals, produced in your brain, come out in your tears. Crying is a wonderful way to relieve yourself of the excess. It hurts for a while, but generally, afterward, you will feel much better.
6. Socialize. Part of feeling despair is wanting to check-out for a while and suffer alone. That will only feed the despair which may then turn into a true clinical depression. Seek out those people in your life who are positive and happy just being alive. Happiness is infectious and getting out will take your mind off your troubles for a while.
7. Stay away from downers, medicinal downers as well as experiential downers. And limit the amount of caffeine you ingest. Caffeine can pick you up for a little while but the crash - for someone who is already prone to despair, can be extreme.
8. Smile, laugh out loud.Studies show that even forcing a fake laugh or smile will send endorphins to your brain, helping to alleviate despair. Look at your self in the mirror and force yourself to laugh. Smile at every stranger you see - (their reactions may make you laugh out loud).

I guarantee that if you do this you will begin to feel your despair melt away. Once it does, make a mental note of what worked for you. And remember that you are ultimately in control of your emotions.