Virginia Tech Murder Suicide can Trigger Copy-Cat Behavior

Teenagers can be both impressionable and impetuous. And a troubled teenager can be sent over the edge after witnessing news reports about a terrible tragedy such as the mass murder and suicide that occurred Monday at Virginia Tech. It is therefore imperative that every parent of a teenager be especially attentive to their teens' mood and habits for the next several weeks.

What worries me is that the intense coverage of this horrible event will give some mentally challenged teen the rational to commit a copy-cat suicide. For everyone who reads this, who knows a teenager who has had a history of suicide, depression or other emotional difficulties, please stay close to your teen and don't be too slow to arrange help for him, especially if he seems affected by the murder-suicide in Virginia this week.

Here are some signs to watch for:

If you see any of these danger signs, call a doctor, mental health clinic or suicide hotline immediately:

1. Pacing,
2. agitated behavior,
3. frequent mood changes,
4. sleeplessness for several nights.
5. Actions or threats of assault, physical harm or violence.
6. Delusions or hallucinations, such as hearing voices.
7. Threats or talk of death or suicide, such as "I don’t care any more," or "You won’t need to worry about me much longer."
8. Withdrawal from activities and relationships.
9. Putting affairs in order, such as saying good-bye to friends, giving away prized possessions or writing a will.
10. A sudden brightening of mood after a period of being depressed.
11. Unusually risky behavior, such as buying or handling a gun or driving recklessly.

For more on suicide, depression and other mental disorders go to psych-net.com

Who's Your Daddy? When Parentage is in Question

It is not uncommon for a man to adopt his new wifes children, especially if the children are very young and have developed a good relationship with their new step-father. And, unfortunately, it is becoming more common that the expectant mother doesn't know the paternity of her unborn child. Thus more and more children are growing up without knowing who their biological father is.

So, what's a mother to do when her children believe one man to be their father, but the mother knows that someone else was the sperm donor? Of course, as with most complicated issues, the answer is "It depends."

Seriously though, you have to ponder the question "How will my child benefit by knowing the truth?" In many cases, the sperm donor has had little or no contact with the child throughout his/her life. And if the person acting in the role of "father" has adopted the child, there may be nothing much to tell.

Children need to feel loved and secure in their home and in their place in the world and churning calm waters with information that may upset the healthy balance in the home may create feelings and situations that are far too adult for a young child to have to deal with. Wait until the child is an adult, and then, if the subject comes up, tell the truth.

Be sure to phrase what you say in a way that will help the teenager realize that you were doing what was best for him/her. If you got pregnant because you were young and stupid, admit that to your child as a lesson in waiting for the right person to come into their life at a more mature age.

If you are a single mother and your child is asking about their biological father, take their age into consideration and answer clearly and directly adding no more information than what was specified in the question. Again, be honest and use the opportunity to create a learning moment for the child.

Helping the child see your remorse for making bad choices at a young age can help them decide to make different choices for themselves. Of course, never belittle their father or speak about him in hateful ways. That will only damage the child's sense of identity (by identifying with the absent father). Instead, Help the child understand that their biological father made mistakes too and hopefully he is trying to make good choices now. This helps the child realize that he/she can also recover from mistakes in life.

Remember this isn't about you. This is about your child and knowing how to help them assimilate their complicated life in a way that teaches them something positive.

Turning Children into Psychopaths

An interesting study has recently come out showing the genetic and non-genetic factors that come together to create a teenager who is anti-social.

Anti-Social Personality Disorder has, in the recent past, been called Sociopathology, Psychopathology and it is a diagnosis which the afflicted must deal with for the rest of their life. There is no cure.

This study definitively showed that children (specifically boys) were much more likely to develop psychopathology when raised in a home with much negativity, and there was minimal affection or open displays of intimacy between family members.

Children who did not have a genetic predisposition for mental illness still developed into Sociopaths by the time they were between 15 to 18 years of age. Younger children were still acting out early warning signs of becoming sociopaths later in life.

So regardless of how your family chooses to express affection, it is vital that the parents get over their own fears of closeness and intimacy and begin to show regular affection toward their children. Just as important is that the habitual negativity in the home needs to be immediately stopped, and replaced with positive thoughts, behaviors and activities.

Having a warm loving home with positive encouragement for all the family members is essential to raising children who will feel empathy for others, who will be proud to be a member of his own family. Positivity creates positivity. And negativity creates negative and unhappy families.