Goth, Piercings and Other Teen Fashions

Teens, as cool as they try to be, are very self conscious. Fitting in while attempting to be unique and individual is a very tough tightrope to walk. Ask a teen why she suddenly began to dress all in black, dye her hair orange or pierce her lip and she will likely tell you that she is just being herself. Then you look at her group of friends and see that they all look alike and you wonder.

Here is the basic truth. Teens are so completely focused on themselves that they believe that the rest of the world is focused on them as well. They haven't yet figured out that their peers are also intensely focused on themselves and not them. Consequently they have to devise coping mechanisms to help them survive their perceived scrutiny from the world.

One of the ways they deal with being the center of the world is to attempt to take control of the situation themselves. Subconsciously they figure, "If everyone is going to stare at me anyway I might as well give them something to stare at." By doing this they can tell themselves that people are looking at them because of their fashion sense, and this helps them to discard fears that people look at them because there is something wrong them.

Not all teens take this approach. Generally teens that feel secure about who they are are less likely to feel the need to control the world around them. Teens who have a happy home-life, who don't feel overly controlled by their parents are less likely to act out in extreme ways.