Incarcerated Teen Parents

The youth prison system in Phoenix Arizona recently began a program to teach their incarcerated teenage fathers how to be better parents. Their 12 week program teaches both the teens and their toddlers about empathy, communication, and compromise, to help prevent the development of violence later in life.

One person commented on an article about the program saying "Don't encourage them to breed." I understand that most of the public is ignorant about such things, but let me take this opportunity to inform you that a large percentage of incarcerated teens are already parents. And those who find themselves in the juvenile jail system will be released before they are legal adults. Those who have been convicted of the most violent crimes will still be released by the age of 21. So the likelihood of them becoming parents at some point is very high.

Consequently, regardless of how you may feel about the current laws regarding teen offenders, isn't it better to educate them about how to be a successful parent? In my experience, even the toughest looking teen offenders can feel deep and enduring love for their children. And just like the rest of us, most of them want their children to grow up happy and healthy. Why not give them an opportunity to turn their life around for the sake of their children?

Agree or Disagree?

Warning Signs Of an Abusive Boyfriend

Teen girls are often easily controlled by their emotions and their heart instead of using their head. This can lead to getting themselves into troublesome relationships that can change their life for the worse. It is up to you, the parent, to get to know the boys your daughter is interested in and to set boundaries for her regarding dating, sex and self control. Help her learn to recognize the early warning signs of trouble before she gets in too deep with the wrong guy.

Here are the warning signs that your daughter may be in a relationship with an abuser:

* She rationalizes or apologizes for his behavior.
* She loses interest in friends and activities that she used to enjoy.
* She stops spending as much time with friends or family members.
* She becomes more isolated spending most or her spare time with him.
* He calls her names and denigrates her in front of other's.
* He becomes jealous of others who pay attention to her, especially other guys.
* He believes that you don't like him and uses this to form an alliance with her, against you.
* He controls her behavior, checking up on her constantly, calling and paging her, demanding to know who she has been with.
* He tells her how to dress, where she is allowed to go, who she is allowed to talk to.
* She casually mentions his violent behavior, but laughs it off as a joke.
* She often has unexplained injuries, or the explanations she offers for bruises or pain don't make sense.
* You see him violently lose his temper, striking or breaking objects.
* He has a history of being violent with others.
* He has unhappy or severed relationships with family members.
* At least one close family member has been in trouble with the law for abuse of another.
* He wants to talk your daughter into leaving home before her time to be with him.
* He drinks to excess or uses illegal drugs.
* He has children by other women and does not take responsibility for them.

If your daughter is already in a relationship with the wrong boy, it is imperative that you do whatever you can to save her from a potentially deadly relationship.

For more information on the profiles of abusers go to http://www.psych-net.com/abuse.html

Mentally Ill Teens & You

According to the Health Behavior News Service "New research suggests that Americans are more likely to socially reject children and teens with mental illness than they are those with physical illnesses such as asthma."

Without naming the mental illness' the poll asked people if they would want a kid with certain symptoms to live next door to them; or if they would want their child going over to the ill kid's house for the evening.

The results were hardly surprising. Only parents with kids of their own who were suffering with mental illness' such as ADHD or Depression had any empathy for other kids with mental health issues.

Realistically taking a poll can't give us an accurate view of how people react to troubled kids. Of course in a perfect world all of our neighbors would be perfect, regardless of how "crazy" we might be. But in the real world, nearly everyone has a neighbor or two who is suffering with mental illness, and the only ones who are negatively effected is the person who is ill and their closest family and friends.

Truth is, most of the "trouble" caused by kids is caused by those who are not mentally ill. Most juvenile delinquency in America is caused by kids who were parentally neglected, emotionally and psychologically scarred by their life's difficulties and those who have been seriously misguided or abused.

Before we throw our teenage neighbors under the bus, let's first educate ourselves about mental illness and learn how we can have empathy for those who are effected by it. Even better, find a way to help your mentally ill neighbors by befriending and helping them. Love and friendship is ultimately the best medicine for the lonely and forlorn.

Teens - Take Control of Your Own Life

One of the most difficult things for a teen to do is to look deep inside themselves and figure out who they are. And yet this is the reason for the teen years, to discover what path you want to follow in life. Peers can offer teens the instant gratification of feeing accepted and "normal," and they can also help you make decisions about who you will eventually become. But often the choices your friends offer you are detrimental to your future happiness.

Close your eyes and imagine an adult that you admire; imagine their personality, their best qualities and the positive ways they structure their life. What qualities does this person have that you would like to have? How can you begin to develop these traits? Once you have identified the type of qualities you want to develop write them down so that you can remember them, especially when things get rough. Make a commitment to conduct your life in a way that will help you become the person you've designed for yourself. When you are confronted with peer pressure, remember this exercise and make choices according to who you want to be.

Your friends may or may not have the ability to see what is best for you in the long run. Most teens don't. Every time you give in to peer pressure, you loose a little piece of yourself. And you get closer to forgetting how to make decisions based on your own desires rather than on the desires of others. Take control of your life, create your own power and be assertive. It will pay off.