Teens, Technology & Titillating Temptations

Some parents just don't want to be bothered with what their teenager is doing behind their back. But for those of us who want to know just how responsible our teen is behind the wheel or who wish they had a way of tracking their teen the future is upon us.

According to an article on Slashdot A Japanese firm has created new technology that enables GPS units to be embedded in clothing that will enable the wearer to be tracked continuously, even by video or on mobile devices. A mom could track her teens activities from her cell phone or from her computer at work.

If that isn't enough, most parents these days have heard of the devices that can keep a log of how fast their teen is driving, but if that isn't enough, check out the newest models at youthdrivingsafe.org that not only tell you their speed but will enable you to remotely turn off the car engine, flash the lights and honk the horn, get instant notification if your teen goes somewhere you have made off limits and find their exact location.

In the world of high tech toys and titillating teen temptations, parents are well advised to keep up with the age of technology and be willing to use whatever means necessary to keep their teen safe.

Monkey See, Monkey Do - Parenting by Example

No parent is perfect. And largely due to that fact, no child is perfect either. Several years ago I had a family as clients. They initially sent their teenage son to me to be fixed. After only a few sessions it was apparent to me that the parents needed help as well. They agreed and we started couple counseling in addition to individual therapy for their son.

After about 3 months of intense counseling, the father dangled a metaphoric carrot in front of his son "to tempt him" and to "see if he had been cured by therapy."

After discovering that his son had indeed given in to temptation the father called me, and in a rage he rationalized his desire to disown his son because of his "deceptive behavior and his obvious willingness to disregard what he had been told in therapy." The father was not only sabotaging his son's grown and progress, but he was expecting more out of his son than he was expecting from himself.

This may sound like an extreme case but I see less obvious examples like this in most of the families that I counsel. Parents tell their children not to steal and then they taste the grapes at the grocery store, fudge on their taxes and bring home office supplies from work. They punish their teen for lying then turn around and lie about their age or falsify a resume. They ground their teen for getting a speeding ticket and yet they rarely stick to the speed limit themselves.

Our kids learn the majority of their life lessons at home. And through the example of the parent the child learns what the family values really are. If the parent gives little respect to the sanctity of marriage the child is likely to grow up believing that marriage is a burden or even unnecessary. If the parent gets physical when angry, the child is likely to internalize violence as a coping skill.

As parents we need to become acutely aware of how we live our life. Because like it or not, everything from the language we use to the behaviors we rationalize are being absorbed and internalized by our children. We need to live the life we want our children to emulate.