I once had a professor in graduate school that told us that “adolescence is a mental illness, and the only cure is time.” At the time I had a house full of teenagers and I tended to agree with her.
So what is it about being a teen that causes them to be so at odds with the rest of the world? What exactly is adolescence and how can a parent survive until they are in their twenties? That is the focus of this site. Each article will deal with some aspect adolescence and pre-adolescence. My aim is to help parent’s parent their teen effectively, with minimal anxiety; and to offer teens information and hope for getting through all the rough spots that make this time of life so difficult.
So let’s start at the beginning. Adolescence is a modern idea. It is a level of development that was conceived and brought into existence in the late 1800’s. Until that period in history childhood ended when s/he was capable of providing an income (for boys) or procreation (for girls). Essentially when childhood ended adult responsibility took its place, and this may have happened as early as 11 years of age for boys and 13-14 for girls.
Even in the early 20th century girls in rural areas were often expected to marry as early as 13 and little boys left home to find work. Until this time the idea of living at home, unemployed, and expecting parents to provide for them until they were in their twenties was virtually unheard of, and would have been considered outrageous. And up until the late 20th century children who had jobs were expected to turn over their earnings to their parent’s to help pay for their keep and to benefit the family. Flipping burgers to pay for a new car or fancier clothes wasn’t even a choice.
So what changed?
The industrial revolution, followed by the age of technology has changed the world forever. And one of the
most significant changes is the introduction of the modern teenager. Part of the reason we seem to have little understanding of what makes teens tick is due to the fact that we haven’t had much time to study them. But one thing families and psychologists have discovered is that the role of the modern teen is vastly different than ever before. They are expected to mature emotionally before taking on adult responsibilities, and yet they have jobs, they become sexually active and they “feel” as if they are as mature as their out-dated parents.
Modern civilization has created an 8-10 year stage of life in which the people are sexually and physically mature, but are still being cared for and treated like children. They are clearly not little children, and yet they are also not yet adults. Is it any wonder then that their world is filled with angst and confusion? One day they need a hug and the next they don’t want anything to do with you.
The good news is that it is possible for both you and your teen to come through to the other side happy, healthy and unscathed. And I can help you do just that. Check back often to receive the help and support you are looking for.
If you have specific questions, or topics that you would like me to write about please leave a comment and I will take all suggestions into consideration.
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